David Reimer has taken his own life. If you don’t know about Mr. Reimer, he was the boy who was raised as a girl, an individual who survived gender manipulation, reclaimed his innate gender, and years later bravely brought his story to public light. I’m very sad to learn of his passing and the circumstances that surrounded it.
I’m convinced that Mr. Reimer was pivotal in Oprah’s ongoing interest in making the public aware of trans issues. Ever since his appearance on her show a few years ago, she’s provided more compassionate coverage of intersex and gender issues than any one. Even today, she’s taking a look at teen transsexual identity. His contribution to the dialogue should not be underestimated.
My heart really aches for Mr. Reimer’s mother. She’s stood as testiment to gender issues and has had to bear more than any mother should. She’s lost both her sons. I’ve never lost a child, but I do know what it’s like to stay strong in the face of overwhelming circumstances. I know what it’s like to have a mentally ill offspring (e.g., David’s twin brother), how that impacts a family, and how it changes your life on a very fundamental level. That she accepted the illness of one child on her doorstep after years of gender struggles from the other one… I can’t find the words to describe how that reaches me.
I’ve seen the woes of heredity myself and I suspect Mr. Reimer had some level of emotional vulnerability, not solely because of the gender issues but largely because the mental illness odds among twins were against him. When one twin has schizophrenia, the other more often than not suffers with some level of bad brain chemistry as well. Granted, the particulars of Mr. Reimer’s family history is not available to us and I am giving in to supposition, but I’ve seen family heredity as work in this regard and it makes for a sad scenario.
I hope Mr. Reimer has found peace. And I pray his mother, who has already endured so much, finds consolation and peace as well.
It’s all so sad.
