Salon gets around to exploring the already emerged asexual identity. I honestly agree with much of its take on how people come to asexuality, but I don’t agree with its apparent sentiment that asexuality represents some profound, underlying condition of the psyche that needs to be fixed. In many cases, it may well represent an underlying problem but whether it needs fixing doesn’t, ultimately, lie in the hands of the medical community. It rests with the medical consumer, regardless of whether it’s a physical or psychiatric condition that promotes the lack of sexual interest.

You might remember that I wrote about asexuality here a while ago. My son considers himself asexual and, yes, he has underlying conditions – pervasive development delays that essentially make him a middle schooler in an adult man’s body (possibly Asperger’s) and he takes a pretty high dose of Paxil to avoid debilitating depression so bad he can’t function at all. Plus, he’s had hormonal shutdowns in the past, severe enough to require the oversight of a pediatric endocrinologist.

His mind says he’s not adult enough for sexuality, his pills depress his sexual functioning, and his hormones claim they’re catching up for lost time. But by saying he’s asexual he’s relieved of the burden that yet something more is wrong with him. Claiming asexuality lets him engage in life without worrying about what’s not yet there. As well, he has warm relationships with many people, so I’m not worried about his ability to bond with others. He is not detached from life or people.

Yes, my son’s asexual identity might be a temporary identity and a more sexually active identity might emerge as he matures but, for now, asexuality lets him live without daily worry and concern.

I’ve come to think that sexual awareness has a generational life cycle anyway. You can see it in the recent NY Times articles about sex manuals (reprinted via the AZ Central) and those rites of passage, health films. From the “Joy of Sex” that moved people beyond a basic prescription for fucking – and for putting the word, joy, in the mix for generations of people who feared sex as they came into the era of the birth control pill – to the more explicitly illustrated and casually-accepting prose of today’s how-to books, you can see not only progress but recurrent themes within the progress. In other words, we may be more open to depictions but, if the sex films are an indication, we still strive to overcome an innate ignorance about the life cycle of our sexuality.

I’m pleased to know that, despite the ongoing pressure of social prudery, we still strive for openness and knowledge over ignorance. And if my son ever moves from his asexual identity, I’m pleased the books that might help him with whatever his new sexual identity might be will be waiting for him.

‘Nuff said.